Friday, October 31, 2008

Adventure from home to HYDERABAD DECCAN
Thanks to iPhone that i cud write all this!!!!

Started as usual at 5.30 from home to Nampally station. Decided to go to sec'bad instead coz of availability of bus service from home. Forgot abt my luck. Then came a bus which was relatively full with quite a few standing inside. Blame it on my luck or my decision making ability I left that bus. For a moment forgot that's the best option I had i.e to board that bus. Realized that the buses would be full later coz it's Monday and office timings. Waited till 5.45, then decided to go to Nampally. Immediately took an auto. It all starts here. Even now I thought I wud make it well b4 time. We(auto n me) crossed Nalgonda X road and confronted a jam as usual. We reached the race course x road and the auto driver pulled aside saying that the auto has a problem and cannot make it to the station. It was around 5.50 by this happened. I was carrying only 100s. Had to waste 5 min there looking for change. Had to buy a waterbottle to find change. By then the traffic started moving slowly. Looked for another auto and obviously u cud guess that right- found none. Took a bus to Nampally. Took the ticket. Reached Chaderghat by 6.00-6.05. Alighted the bus after deciding to take an auto which would help atleast to reach. Believed the "hyderabad" auto driving skills could only help me now. All this time my brain was thinking of the run I needed to make to catch the station, typically filmi ;). Went to an auto which was standing and asked he could take me. 'Welcome chennai' the guy demanded 60/-, typical style of chennai auto drivers to demand high for small distances. And I being a typical hyderabadi rejected and was looking for another. To my rescue there was a saviour (can't help calling that). The twist was the meter was not working and he asked me to suggest the rate. I asked me in turn and he suggested 35/-I did not negotiate on that. I asked him to take the route Afzalgunj-feelkhana-market. He told that it's long and instead told me that the traditional route was better and the jam we are looking at is gonna last for a few min and told that we would reach in time to Nampally. I had to trust his instincts so agreed what he had to say. If u can guess the next twist U r reading my luck straight. If u think that I was stuck there in the jam and getting frustated thn HAAHAA u r wrong mite! Typically Australian huh? Blame that on what I did the whole day(cricket). As predicted by my saviour there was no jam. We cruised thru till Jambagh. Thr was a small traffic jam which was a small hiccup and proceeded to the station. Meanwhile the driver asked me if i had the change to give him. For a moment I wondered what my luck had for me in store. But it did not desert me now(twist huh!) We reached the station by 6.25. That's typically me :0. He bought himself some bananas to cater the change. Gave him the remaining amount. Got out of the auto and started running. It was 6.27 by the time I reached the platform 3 and saw that the train was on the other platform. Hurried to the footover bridge. If ur brain Is thinking then I wud be running like Bolt in ur imaginations. Reached the platform at ????. I know that u know it by now. Expecting a twist in the tale?then u r lucky enuf to have one. Guess what!!!! I boarded the running train and went straight to my seat no. to see that it's already occupied. Thanks to railways new 9 seating arrangement per section my seat no. was relocated. Found the right one after checking the charts in sec'bad.Adhi story....... Ika chaalu get back to what u were doing b4. I am in the train now typing all this munching "Good day" which is what I had thanks to my luck anyways :0.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

CHAOTIC

I am being stormed with these questions off-late.


Does the problem lie with me? Do I portray a reckless attitude? Am I a spoiled brat? Do i think too much of an issue? Am i irresponsible? Am i being hypocritical about decisions that i take? and I end up with one single Q.... What is that really i want?

Later I try to answer each in detail. Convince myself and the others who are with me that i am correct in thinking the way i did at that moment.

The convincing only subsides the fire within and coz of laziness or indecision at a later point of time fires that back. Is that the problem of my perspective of things or rather fickle mindedness, which is changing the way i see at things so rapidly due to the environment surrounding the issue? Dunno what... My strengths at one point have become weaknesses at some other point. Am i really a failure compared to my peers?

Am i one of those losing hope on everything and my mind goes blank and everyone around me seems to be happy. i know that everyone around have this in their background scheduling of the mind but some how are able to get on with life using someway or the other like drinking, smoking, gals n stuff. This leads me to another Q.... Do i lack passion in life for something seriously in life??? 

Am i chasing a dream too big?.. wait do i really have a dream?? Earning more money is what i dream of? or is there something else? Thinking of this.. i get to the point where i tend to measure the balance money and happiness.. seems ridiculous isnt it? Y am i writing all this?

Having the above removed from my mind by one way or the other like listening to music or watch movies or talk to some one really close, not abt the Qs of course, or something thats very trivial, i get on with life. Do i lack the capability of expressing what i feel to the ones close to me? Am i asking them the wrong Qs, that mislead them to advise me something else?

Do i belong where i am being currently? Why am i fearing the adversity? Why am i running away from fear and thinking of playing safe always? where is the alchemist inside me gone? Dunno really what i am typing....

I'm just jotting my thoughts at this moment….. Sorry to have u disturbed with all this CRAP!!!!

Please don’t answer any of this…… u will get mad!!!!!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

On the anniversary

There are some days in life which can only be recollected and cannot be relived. 366 days back, that was one day which qualifies for the above sentence. May 2nd 2007 was the day where we invited a new member to our family, the one who carried all responsibility of standing by my brother and family every moment of her life form now on. The grace with which both, it would be better to call as ONE, took up the responsibility in one of the most grandiloquent ceremonies ever imaginable (to me), thanks to one and all that made the event a SUCCESS. That was the day which was decided by the GOD himself to unite probably reunites the couple. I say reunite is to specify that this relation might have been decided in their previous lives. Leaving the theological part, I am here to remember those moments after the fall of the first year in the hundred years to follow. This one year the souls in two different bodies have combined to give rise to a well cherished dream of our family, happiness and more happiness to all the people around this relationship. In the past 1 year, there were 365 days to be remembered, but there are moments which stand out. To name a few, the new couple traveling to Sweden, the news of having a child, the Shashtipoorthi ceremony of our father. Sorry that I could not quote many coz I have got a very poor memory. To elaborate on the moments I quoted, the first one was about a mixed bag for the family. It was filled with JOY coz it was being considered as a extended honeymoon and was also filled with some grief because it was a newly wed couple going away from home. Coming to the next one, that moment was the moment which filled happiness in the whole family. That was one more moment I would cherish as I felt (for a moment) responsible and at the same time childish and all kinds of feelings running in my small mind (if any). The third moment is that moment that made them immortal. I could find no words to match the moment.

All the greetings given to this 1 year young couple will shower as blessings to the one who will be responsible to add more flavor in their lives and the one who increases the bonding in the family.
These are some lines I liked to jot down in the remembrance of the past 1 year.

Why is it always like this?

Why is it always like this? Why should it be like this? when it happens always then, the fault might be with me. I think it is time for introspection. No the fault is not with your attitude but with your mindset, the way i look at things, the way i perceive. the fickle mind is playing tricks yet again and the SATAN is at his best i my mind creating all kinds of non-sense stuff in there. The moments are not always light-hearted. But i think from Feb i am living in a dichotomous and hypocrite world. I dont know what am i upto. In a moment i tend to think that this job is sufficient in life and play-safe becomes the name of the game. and the next i think of GMAT and the next i think of some other stuff. My life is missing that energy and enthusiasm. I get irritated so easily to anything, but my mind is in control of things keeping everything at its hypocrite best. At times i behave in such a way so as to hurt people. My ego is playing a major part in every part of my life. The holistic view of things is really taking a toll on me. Looking at an incident in all possible points of view dilutes the feel i have at the first look. It projects even an illegitimate stuff legitimate. Sometimes i fear that i might seriously hurt people's feelings which would not be intended. I get pissed off when some one starts questioning on things that i have done. Although they might be enquiring about the past but i feel that they are questioning about my capability or for that matter my values. Later i feel bad. I dont feel that remaining quiet and thinking before talking will be a solution coz i think that way i am just gonna suppress my energy more causing more dissatisfaction. i cant be a silent spectator coz its not Sanjeev. The constant energy that i carry along with me is kinda missing. I feel lost even when every one is around me.

UNTITLED coz its LIFE

Note: For every statement below there are 2 sides. Please take the appropriate side which you think is applicable.

November 13th 2006, the day I think was the day which changed our lives. We steeped into the professional life, may it be by will or any other reason, and we joined hands together for the battle ahead in our lives. The day started with lots of aspirations in our minds which were planning some thing BIG all the time. Aha!!! We finally landed into a company with job security and enough amount of money*. We were made to sign the bond of 2 years, which we happily did unknowing of the treacherous road ahead. Then it all started……. Can’t say that too!!!! Coz till JAN we never got the feel that we were working…..The period between November and January can be probably considered as the best days of our lives so far coz we had a mixture of youth, adolescence and adulthood.

The time we had in Ponmudi surrounded by a cloud of moist air and rain, the trip to one of the best architectural masterpieces of all times , Madurai, under the beautiful water-falls of Courtallam, the fun in the beautiful beaches of Kovalam and Varkala, the feeling of being at the tip of the sub-continent, Kanyakumari….. C’mon all this is making me nostalgic. We had fun all the way till we reached Chennai. In Chennai of course we had fun in a totally new and different way…… Guys u know what am I referring to.

The road to our anniversary was filled with roses for about a mile and the roses gradually dried out leaving just the thorns behind. Now we see thorns and only thorns in this way. My peers have decide a trek a different path which matches with their own ambitions and which leads them to the ZENITH they have been dreaming from the beginning. I see no point in looking back and counting all the milestones laid for all the wrong reasons so far in my journey. There is no place for sorrow and distress and depressing thoughts here. We here had been a unit with a strong binding force which still amazes me, we come from a different background with so many different aspirations and with so many different characteristics. We gelled with each other so well no one in our lives might have thought in college. We are here celebrating the anniversary of 1 year of the so called purposeful days of our lives. Recently I am in my “0” state, that’s what we here call it, with full of synergy between fun and work. This is a small token of gratitude to all those who have supported and who have not supported in this 1 year of journey. The bottom line is WE ARE HERE TO CELEBRATE AND CHERISH EACH AND EVERY MOMENT OF OUR LIVES.Guys we are running out of time to visit places… Its November!!! Remember last year and the amount of traveling we used to do….. So lets get the PARTY started……….

I LOVE CHENNAI *
* Conditions apply..
It was on Friday when I decided that I will provide SUPPORT (come to office) on Sunday coz I wanted to watch a movie on Saturday. It was a fun-filled morning as usual on Saturday. I woke up at 7.30 where the sky was gloomy with full of clouds which I thought was a respite to the daily early morning heat I encounter. One of my friends brought breakfast which I had while watching a movie in my laptop. We decided that we would start for the movie, which was scheduled at 12.30, at 12.00. To my surprise we started on time and my luck continued show some early signs with a traffic jam for around 30 min. We reached the theatre at 12.45 and was in my own nostalgic world all trough out the movie. It took me some time to come back to my excited state, which I was in for about 3 weeks. I was back to my own best with some satires on friends and abusing the so-called “purposeful days”. It as drizzling all along till 6. We went to a shopping mall where some of my friends bought some clothes for themselves. We had fun there also, on the escalator, with Ice-cream, with golf-club. Finally back to the den after a typical Andhra-mess dinner amidst all the rain which was pouring down heavily.
I had a tablet and went back to sleep early coz I had to attend office the next morning….I know I know.. it is a SUNDAY morning. The cab guy woke me up in his own usual style in ENGAMIL (English+Tamil), that’s what I would like to call that). The street where I live was flooded with drainage and rain water. I had to ask the guy to come and pick me up at my door-step and couldn’t convey that which was quite normal for me during these 3 months of morning shift. I was lucky enough that a guy who knew Tamil woke-up and told him the address. I got into the cab and started to the office in the rain. I was stunned by the roads, OOOPS sorry pools all around us through out the route which I trace everyday in the cab to reach office. I am finally there in office planning to have some solitary fun in the module. The work was all there in its own place. And at 9.30, I was surprised to see that all the work had to be suspended early because of maintenance which would usually be for 2-3 hrs. At 10.00 I learnt that the maintenance was for 8 hours, which means that I will literally have no work for the next 8 hrs. I messaged my senior reg. the status and awaited his call for 40 min. I decided to wake him up with my call was frustrated to see that I was in a HOLE (place which had no coverage). I tried different places in the building to call him but all the effort was in vain. Finally, I called from the office landline and informed him about the status of the work and told him that I would come back at 5.30PM. He agreed to that and informed the cab supervisor that I need a cab at 5.30. I went back home and was full of jealousy, cant really say that, but was kinda that to see all my room mates just rising from the bed. I talked to my friend online and planned to go out for lunch. We started to have lunch which the RAINGODS had different plans. We ordered some food and waited for 1.5 hrs, usually 30 min, to find out that some of the food is missing form the order. My friends waited for that food for one more hour. I decide to take a nap for 1 hr and attend office. The RAINGODS were relentless through out and I dropped my plans of going back to office. I informed my supervisor the same and he asked me to inform Onsite regarding the status. I thought of going to the nearby office and call them but I couldn’t even put a step out in the rain so immense was the pouring down. Then I had a brilliant idea and called from SKYPE (software used to call phone from PC using the VOIP technology) using my brother’s US account. I was content that I need not go to office in rain. Then we friends had non-stop fun through out till 1.00 AM. It was 5.55AM and the routine has started as far as the Monday morning goes. HAVOC struck yet again although the sky was opening up, coz I was stuck in a cab breakdown where we hit a pothole. Reached office 1 hour late and back to work.

Now you might be wondering whats the title and what written above… how they match!!!!!!! U can infer what are the conditions that need to apply for the statement to be apt.

Ok guys….. WORK’s calling……..see you soon.
WEEKEND FOREVER
That was the weekend my brother probably waited for as long as 27 years and why will he not wait? It was the last weekend he will be single.

That weekend was very important to me because the week ahead would test my character as an individual. The managerial skills that I possess, the way I support my family in resolving issues during crunch situations, the path I tread where I would strike balance between the dos and the don’ts to mitigate the risk of the inflation of small petty issues to an inappropriate proportion which cannot be handled alone.
It all started at my office where I needed to attend a meeting on Friday evening which I would not skip coz it might cause small problems in the future. I managed to book an air-ticket on Saturday morning rather than boarding a bus. On Friday, with all the excitement I took sweets to the offices, which were completed within a flash. Because I had to attend the meeting, I had plans of spending the night at the airport. The news of the meeting being postponed to the following week was a bit of surprise along with disappointment. Meanwhile my plans of staying in the airport got a serious hit when I came to know that I may not be allowed into the airport that night with my flight being early in the morning. I decided risking the stay at the airport, but was advised not to do that just for the sake of a night's sleep. I booked a cab to pick me up early in the morning to the airport and reached my place. I had thoughts of a small nap but was denied of that because of my friends who talked to me all night and later on I watched TV and finally went to sleep at 2 AM. I was not having a happy sleeping experience as I had tuned my mind to wakeup early. At 4.45 my phone rang and it was the CAB driver who was early by 30 min. I was rather dissatisfied with that guy for coming so early. I boarded the cab and we reached the airport in 20 min. I received a call from the man I least expected a call from at that time and guess who... it was CMK who was calling because he was suffering from a kind of INSOMNIA because of his off-late workaholic status. I boarded the flight which did not meet my expectations in both the cases of the airhostess and the food. It was in the flight where I had the "best" breakfast. I also had a cup of coffee along with the breakfast which never seemed like one.
I reached home with my DAD and was thinking of a small nap for about 2 hours. MOM was waiting for me eagerly as she could rely on me for petty works. She was ready for the ceremony which was scheduled later in the day at my sis-in-law's (SIL) house. In fact she was waiting for my aunts. I was told to bring flowers and sweets that need to be taken as a formality. We left to their house in our car along with GNC's car. We had reached there in all glee. We wanted to gift her bouquet and were coming out of the cellar of the apartment complex. I did not notice the column behind and went directly into it and to my horror it all happened in front of all the family. The dent on the rear side was big and the problem was that car was planned to be the "BAARATH CAR"(the car used to bring the newly wedded couple home). The program went fine and was getting bored and was talking to GNC about the car and the time it’s gonna take to get it done. Meanwhile we were also assigned a task to hire a car, rather a four wheeler for the week on rental basis. We were told about a place where we can hire vehicles. So we decided to go to that place in the mean time. We finished the work and on our way back we also enquired about the time required to get the car repaired. The only concern was that we will lose the main mode of transport without the car. We came back the function place and I started having lunch. I was told to drop my aunt in the middle of the lunch amidst a chaotic situation which I couldn’t understand at that moment. I felt some kind of unrest brewing there but was unaware of what was going on. After the function we started back to our home and to my surprise a car was sent for my family which was quite a surprise for me. We reached home and I was accompanied with one my aunts who told me a small incident which happened in my absence. That was the time when I felt that the moments I awaited were finally there.
We went back home and I was planning to have some rest. I was told that I need to accompany PAK for the rest of the day. The rest of the program was decided after he arrived. After a slight delay at his place, we started to the bride's home as he wanted to meet my SIL in person, which was actually scheduled 3 hours before. My bro asked me to talk to my SIL about the incident that occurred in the morning, which I managed pretty well as far as I knew with my so-called talent. We completed all the formalities and started to the airport where we had to collect his luggage which was delayed by one whole day. With some amount of difficulty we got the baggage. We later had plans of shopping which never happened. We later went to a restaurant with my bro and the new cousins. We had dinner and started back home. During the dinner my bro talked to AJ for about half an hour. I was not bothered about the issue, so did not even try to enquire. We started back home and reached at 11.30 PM. That day was completed amidst all the excitement which lied before us the following week.